OK LET ME TRY TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED…APRIL (I want to say) 9th ME AND MELVIN’S REALTIONSHIP CAME TO ABRUPT HOLT AFTER A YEAR AND hmm 2 WEEKS…SO WE WERE SEPARATED AND ARGUING BACK AND FORTH, BASICALLY TRYING TO PIN THE BLAME ON EACHOTHER….LIKE AN IDIOT I GAVE IN AND I WENT TO GO SEE HIM MAY 27TH I FIGURED HE COULDN’T AVOID ME IF I WAS IN HIS FACE…SO WE GOT BACK TOGETHER THAT DAY AND AS USUAL HE TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME…..BUT SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT….SEE WHEN ME AND HIM SLEPT TOGETHER WE NEVER USED A CONDOM, I KNOW THAT WASN’T RIGHT BUT WE DIDN’T IT WAS JUST OUR THING AND WE HAD THAT KIND OF TRUST..UNTIL THAT DAY…HE INSISTED HE WEAR A CONDOM, AND A CONDOM IS NEVER A BAD IDEA, (hey I’m up for safe sex, its cool) BY WHY ALL OF SUDDEN DOES HE INITIATE SAFE SEX??….SO I ASKED HIM: DID U DO SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT??…HE WAS GONNA LYE…HE TRIED TO LYE…BUT THE PAIN IN MY EYES AND THE RAGE IN MY VOICE, FORCED HIM TO TELL THE TRUTH… HE DID…I WAS IN SHOCK… I WAS CONFUSED…I SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM….I WANTED TO LEAVE…HE WANTED ME TO STAY….HE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT…I DIDN’T…HE WANTED TO FIX IT…I THOUGHT THERE WAS NO WAY….HE TOLD ME I WAS HIS QUEEN, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HE WAS DRUNK, AND HE DIDN’T EVEN NUT…. EVERYTHING TO ME WAS JUST WORDS…MY HEART WAS SHATTERED…MY TRUST IN HIM WAS GONE…BUT I STILL LOVED HIM…I WASN’T QUITE READY TO LEAVE….SO I STAYED…HE SAID HE LOVED ME… AND I BELIEVED HIM…I WENT HOME…I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS…WHO WAS SHE…WHAT DID SHE LOOK LIKE…WHY?…HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO ME…HE SAID HE WANTED TO MARRY ME…HE SAID HE WANTED ME TO HAVE HIS KIDS…THE NEXT WEEK I WENT BACK… HE TRIED TO MAKE EMENSE…HE BOUGHT ME LUNCH AND STUFF…HE GAVE ME MONEY…SAME OLD SAME (hush money) IT SOLVES EVERYTHING TO HIM….HE HAD FUN THOUGH…IF YOU OVERLOOK WHAT HAPPENED…. AND I TRIED…I DID….THEN HE TOOK ME HOME… I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS COOL….THEN HE STOPPED CALLING ME…. SO I LET HIM KNOW THAT IT BOTHERED ME ….HE STILL DIDN’T CALL ME…EVERYTIME I OFFERED TO COME OVER HE BLEW ME OFF….I FIGURED THIS WAS NOT THE TYPE OF LIFE I NEEDED TO LIVE ANYMORE….HOW LONG COULD I JUST CONTINUE TO LET HIM HURT ME?….SO I MADE MY LAST PHONE CALL JUNE 28TH ….I TOLD HIM WE NEED TO TALK…HE KEPT TELLING ME NOT RIGHT NOW…WELL IF NOT NOW WHEN I SAID, YOU JUST CAN’T LEAVE ME DANGLING FOREVER…HE SAID HE WASN’T FEELING US ANYMORE…BECAUSE I HAD A BAD ATTITUDE….BUT AT THAT POINT I NO LONGER CARED…BECAUSE THE TRUTH WAS IWASN’T FEELING US ANYMORE EITHER….IT WAS OVER A LONG TIME BEFORE THE FIRST TIME…AND I JUST WASN’T READY TO LET GO….BUT I’M DONE…I WILL ADMIT IT LEFT ME STOMACH UNSETTLED THAT NIGHT…BUT I WOKE UP RELEIVED…..IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO REALIZE THAT EVEN THOUGH I’M A LITTLE HEAVYSET…I’M A PRETTY GIRL…AND I DON’T HAVE A BAD PERSONALITY…I JUST HAD A BAD BOYFRIEND…AND I’M GLAD ITS OVER…I NEVER FELT SO FREE….I WAS HIS HOUSEWIFE AND HIS SLAVE….HE KEPT ME BOUND WITHIN FOUR WALLS AND I ONLY GOT 45% OF HIS ATTENTION….LIVING WITH HIM WAS HELL….OVERALL BEING WITH HIM BECAME HELL….I WASTED A YEAR OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK….BUT I CAN START OVER….SO NOW I’M IN COLLEGE LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE…GOING UP FOR 2 DEGREES…I’LL BE AHEAD OF THE GAME IN NO TIME…FROM NOW ON I’M ONLY LOOKING OUT FOR ME AND MY FAMILY…NO ONE ELSE…I’MMA WAIT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN…I NEED TIME TO HEAL MY HEART…JUST BECAUSE HE WAS AN ASS DOESN’T MEAN I’M GIVING UP ON LOVE…I’M JUST COOL ON LOVE FOR RIGHT NOW…I’MMA JUST DATE…1
