WHERE'S THE BALANCE????

ok so yesterday me my cuzzin Dionne, her man, and her baby Tylor went out yesterday....we went to hometown buffet and chuck e. cheeses. i must say i had a lot of fun i didn't think it would be that fun but it was and we took pictures and junk. it was fabulous but then. after we got back to the house i can't say how many hours went by but anyway mid night melvin starts instant messaging me and it was cool until he calls and o my God we are at it for hours, for all kinds of shit why does he hate me so much?? why is he callin me and stressin me out so? well i could just hang up and never answer the phone for him again hunh? its just that when he calls i be prayin that he is gonna say somethin i wanna hear ya know. but i can't keep wishin on a prayer and praying on a wish. i can't help it people i try so hard to stay strong but truth is i'm weak. he was my everything and now it is just so difficult to just let it all go. i get a headache just thinking about it. its so frustrating I'm either feeling really good or really bad where is the balance in my life where I am just well off??? it all just sucks. well thats how i feel today. just plain crappy. But yesterday I felt good. I'll keep that in mind.... i guess.