TRYNA MOVE ON

Its been 5 days since me and my first love have been broken up, I must admit it was hard the first 3 days. I didn't really want to eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think, my mom had to drug me with anti-depressants and sleeping pills to get me to go to bed at night. It was a really sad, moment I was going through. And in the process I was pissing everyone off because they were the one's who had to deal with my drama while he was sleeping rest assured at home. By the 4th day, I pretty much had to slap myself, this is ridiculous, no one has died and there is no reason for me crying like that, and throwing up. I'm hurt, and I miss him and those are normal feelings but crying and dying is not gonna solve anything. So I left my house, because over there I was just catching a mad case of cabin fever, and missing him was driving me crazy. So I'm over my Aunt's house right now with my cousin, I have my own little space for the time being just to sit and think when I want to, grab on to reality, even though it hurts. I've talked to him, he says he wants me back but I can't fall into that trap, he has to suffer, like he has made me suffer, and if he ain't sufferin then more power to him, as long as I'm not. I've met someone else but I'm not sure if I want to continue with him because I'm not absolutely sure I want to move completely on. It would be fine if the new guy wanted to be just friends, nut lets not be coy. Niggas are shiesty these days, you can't be just friends. You gotta have benefits. I've never been intimate with anyone besides my first love so to just want to get down like that for me is not gonna fly. So I guess I just got some more thinking to do because there is nothing else to do for the weekend. I have no friends to hang out with because I isolated myself from other people to be with him, so moving on is not gonna be as easy as I thought. But now I have more free time to find myself, and find out what I can do by myself to make me happy. Its not easy, but I'm tryna move on...